Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
