remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
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