Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
