i already hear my dad disowning me
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
The beer is more important than you right now.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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