i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
