Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
