rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
