That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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