Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
