Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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