hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
A bitchslap is in order.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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