all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
