I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
