dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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