i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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