you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
