I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
this hospital has no fireball
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
