You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
