You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
