Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Houston, we have a squirter
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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