I am spending my child support on dildos
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
