Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
