Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
We had sex on a dog bed..
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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