he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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