yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
