How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize
