i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
