so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
