Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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