3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Drunk is not a location!
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
