And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
