So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
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