Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.

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(207): View more from Maine

He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.

Fav 24 1294 5596
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.

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(510): View more from California

Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?

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(479): View more from Arkansas

We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe

Fav 3 2034 970
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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.

Fav 2 2116 1089
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(404): View more from Georgia

This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"

Fav 5 3102 936
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(209): View more from California

I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.

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(419): View more from Ohio

she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.

Fav 2 427 319
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