is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
