using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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