Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
So many bounce houses so little time
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
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