you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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