Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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