Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
