HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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