I wanna passion pit in your ass
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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