do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
