Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
