how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
