I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
