Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We had to coat check the pizza.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
