My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
