you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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