I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
