In the future we'll all be gay
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
