I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
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