Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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